What life is like

I've been thinking about Ben alot today...alot lately.

I think about him everyday really, but I mean dwelling on it....it creeps in whenever it gets quiet. It's been quiet alot lately.

Think about the last time I saw him.

Get confused about which time was the last time...

Don't even know what to think anymore. When I think about or watch something from when I was a kid I can't enjoy it without thinking the last time I saw it he was alive.

Is that how my life will be measured?

Before and after?

Workin for a living

So today I have the long haul.  My first sub job today.  I am subbing in the morning followed by my regular extended day job.  So I won't be home until 6 pm.  And it occured to me a bit late in the game I have no idea how I'm gonna eat today.  No breakfast and and no food until 6 pm...yowza!

It feels good to be back in a classroom but not have the force and fear of every step I make ruining me.  I can't wait to get an actual teaching job.  Every minute I spend close to it just reassures me it's where I'm supposed to be.  If only I could just get there.

Need to look up some halloween craft ideas for the little kids at extended day.  I think I may go to the library this weekend if I can get a ride. 

City of Heroes art to work on tonight...man am I gonna be beat!
Don't forget to watch! 8 pm central